International Insults 101

mapEveryone always says how important  it is when travelling to make friends with the locals. They know which restaurants to avoid, the cleanest public toilets and the cheapest bars. I’ve found the quickest way to make friends is to charm strangers with your handle on their language. What I discovered by accident is that the more insulting the phrase, the faster the bonds of friendship form. Which is convenient as I can only ever remember the incredibly insulting phrases, helping me make some wonderful, close friends from around the world.

I tend to do the “you know, I’ve only ever learnt a little bit of *insert language here* and I’d love to know more. So far all I remember is *your mother is a whore, you pig c&#t*” 

Cue your new best friend falling about laughing and leaning in, conspiratorially, to correct your pronunciation. These are my top four:

Norwegian: Hej, Kukksugere.

Dutch: hallo, stom.

French: Bonjour, salope.

Cantonese: Tsu hai!

Anyone know any more?


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