Supervegan

 

copyright Kerri Milam, Facebook Global Vegan Network

copyright Kerri Milam, Facebook Global Vegan Network

The only time I see a doctor is to get another prescription for my pill, because despite my mum’s pleadings I’m not keen to do practical study of reproduction. Just yet. So my experience with GP’s is limited. I like it that way. But recently I felt the need to check I was on the right track with my health. I’ve been iron-deficient before, + really like to avoid it at all costs.

Which lead me to encounter the type of GP I hope I never become. After making hilarious jokes about my contraceptive pill not being strong enough now that I’d moved to Southport (Helloooooo, inappropriate inuendo! Nice to see you so soon. Oh, I haven’t even sat down yet…), he ordered the blood tests I asked for (iron levels, cholesterol, and liver function) + handed me my now “superstrong” prescription (cue laughter pause, during which I blinked at him).

I walked out thinking he was a tool who clearly worked at a dodgy bulk billing practice for a reason (inwardly cursing myself for being a cheap bastard for going to said practice).

When I went back to get my results, he skipped the hello’s + launched straight into:

GP (huffing): I don’t know why you’re even here. I have nothing to tell you. You’re a perfectly healthy woman. All of your tests came back fine.

me: oh. Excellent. 

GP (switching from huffy to lecherous): Any man would be lucky to have you.

me: Thanks. um…

*pause*

me: ok. cool. bye. 

I was so happy that I wasn’t anemic that I let his weird compliment slide. It was so nice to be told I was wasting his time. Especially when I spend a fair amount of time defending/explaining my dietary choices, how I ‘live’, why I don’t eat cheese + making forced understanding noises when people tell me emphatically they would die without cheese.

Seriously.

Die. 

Until they are dead.

I inwardly cringe when people ask me to explain veganism because the bottom line is I’m just not down with the whole death + cruelty bit that has to come before the food bit. I’m not an evangelical vegan looking to persuade the masses. When asked about my views, I either clam up or end up sounding like a stuffy activist, quoting studies, books + ‘findings’. 

But now I feel really validated. Kicked out of the doctors surgery for being too healthy. I’m so hardcore.

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3 Responses to “Supervegan”

  1. doctor007 Says:

    Good on you, you crazy radical cauliflower lover! (I love cauliflower, btw).

    Dr sounds utterly disgusting, talk to me and I can point you in the direction of a great doctor. Unfortunately, he does not bulk bill.

  2. C Says:

    I really wanted to give this guy one of our D&P evaluation sheets… 🙂 Hope your exams went well.

  3. doctor007 Says:

    Some of the old school guys need a few good D&P sheets…

    Thanks, C. I’m sure I did okay. Time will tell.

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